A Dangerus Misunderstanding
by Storm Elf and Ithildin
Summary: Pippin gets drunk and tells eveyone that Frodo and Sam are a coubple and that Aragorn and Legolas are as well, but they aren't. The problem is that everyone beleives Pippin.
1. prolog

"La, la, la," sang Pippin as he happily drowned his 79th pint of ale. "Frodo and Sam sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Frodo in a baby carriage! Seriously folks, it's official, Frodo and Sam are now a couple!"  
  
"Eeew!" squealed Merry from the corner he was sitting in. "Gross, Pippin, do you have to?"  
  
The surrounding Hobbits, Orcs, Uruk-Hai, Elves, Ents, Dwarves and Men, plus Gandalf, Saruman, Sauron and Gollum turned eager ears toward the young Halfling.  
  
"Who else are a couple?" urged Boromir  
  
"Well, let's see. Oh, yeah! Legolas and Strider!" Pippin shrieked.  
  
"ESTEL!" screamed Arwen, "I'm going to kill him!"  
  
"Me first!" shouted Elrond.  
  
"NO!! ME!" Arwen's screaming split the ears of everyone there and made her hair fly up and get caught on the ceiling.  
  
"Alright, alright, go get your hair off the roof!" Elrond was now pissed.  
  
"Strider and Legolas sitting in a mallorn tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes LOVE then comes MARRIAGE then comes LEGOLAS with a BABY CARRIAGE!"  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP FOOL OF A TOOK!"  
  
Pippin hid under the table, for it wasn't Gandalf that had yelled that, but rather a very, very, very drunk Sauron!  
  
"I'm scared!" squealed Pippin.  
  
"No, yer not, fool of a freakin' Took, that's that stupid Frodo's job!" Saruman slurred.  
  
"Now I'm even more scared!" Pippin squealed again.  
  
"Shuddup!" shouted Gandalf, having finished his 99th bottle of 198 proof liquor that was 99% alcohol.  
  
"Pippin, maybe we should go," suggested Merry meekly.  
  
Pippin nodded and ran off with Merry into the moonlight.  
  
****  
  
Legolas tended to the fire, while Aragorn, Frodo and Sam slept. The rest of the Fellowship had gone off to the local inn. Legolas hated what beer did to Men, Dwarves and even their sweet Hobbit companions. Little did he know that Pippin was drunk and at that very moment telling everyone in the inn that he and Aragorn were a couple, and that Frodo and Sam were one as well.  
  
Legolas settled on a rock the surrounding area. Lush, green trees and tall, shear cliffs had had kept this place secret from everyone except the Elves of Mirkwood and Rangers.  
  
****  
  
"WHERE ARE LEGOLAS AND ARAGORN?!" screamed Arwen to anyone and everyone she meet.  
  
Few knew whom she talked about. And those who did thought she was crazy or drunk, except for those who had been in the inn.  
  
Boromir, Pippin, Gandalf and Merry had left before had been able to scream at them. But, alas, who knew what awaited the Fellowship of the Ring.  
  
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A/N: Please review for more!  
  
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	2. Chapter one

A Dangerous Misunderstanding Chapter One- What do you do with a Drunken Hobbit? Disclaimer: And I'd like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings (especially Legolas), Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen and Savage Garden. Oh! Sorry just ordering everything we'd like to own. Not gonna happen, sadly. A/N: thoughts are thoughts. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* By the time that everyone got back to the campsite they were in very bad shape. Pippin was guided by an almost equally drunk Merry. Even though they had left long before everyone else they had gotten lost, and sat down until the others came. Boromir only got home by following "A man dressed in grey with a stick." Gandalf leaned heavily on his staff, for although he was the most sober person there, that wasn't very impressive. And Gimli hadn't even turned up!  
  
They had stumbled into camp an absolute mess. Legolas had taken one look at them and wanted to be sick. He now wished that he had talked Aragorn into staying awake. Gandalf and Boromir could take care of themselves. Merry could also, with a little help. Pippin, on the other hand, couldn't. Legolas knew that he should let the hobbit suffer, but he couldn't, especially since there were cliffs nearby. He knew that Gandalf would kill him when he got over his major hangover. "Come here Pippin." He called with the nicest of tones. "Let's take care of you." The hobbit walked/crawled over to him, barely making it to the Elven Prince. "All right, what do we need to do...first we need to take off that shirt, yuck." He started assessing what needed to be done. Pippin's shirt was covered with vomit, so it took top priority. Then I think I should tie a rock around your neck and throw you in a river. How to take the shirt off was another dilemma entirely. He knew that everyone would laugh if they knew, but he really didn't like the idea of getting sick, even the idea of puking made him cringe. Elven Prince or not, he still was scared of vomit.after all, he was still frightened by the memories of that one occurrence about nine hundred years ago. Unknown to Legolas, Aragorn was spying on him. He was seeing if Legolas' skills at detection were as good as an Elf's should be. He also wanted to make sure that Legolas didn't actually kill the Hobbit. Just the thought of what the Ringbearer would go through if he lost one of his close friends was enough to make the Ranger run to Sauron, begging the evil Maia to kill him. At that moment, the Man didn't know that Sauron was passed out in Mount Doom. Pippin pulled away from the Elf and vomited rather loudly. Legolas decided that meeting Morgoth wouldn't be bad compared to a drunk Hobbit.  
  
"YUCK! I swear, if anyone ever pukes on me I'll have their head on a pike!" he growled, and continued to try to help Pippin. "All right Pip, get out of here. If you are puking, you're on your own." "Afraid of drunk hobbit?" Aragorn asked. "All right, so what if I am!" "Nothing I just think that it is funny, no problem with blood and guts, but sickness scares you?" "Just turn around and leave." Before I disembowel you. "Alright, this can be our secret. I swear I won't tell anyone.ever." "You had better not or else I will personally hand you to a Cave Troll." Aragorn gulped and quickly reassured the Elf. "No way in Mordor." **** Arwen decided that maybe going after Aragorn wasn't a very good idea; she might die.or worse.break a nail! Better to stay in Rivendell before someone found out the whereabouts of Lord Glorfindel, then she could pretend to be the innocent, perfect little maiden that she wasn't, and let the blame be on Legolas or Aragorn. The perfect plan.she could hardly believe she had come up with it! **** Janta.Opps, sorry wrong fic. [~*] Thranduil roared with anger at the message from Lord Elrond. How dare that.that Half Elven guy accuse his son of such a thing! His son was the most respected Elf in all of Middle-Earth! And all knew that Arwen was only playing the Ranger, if anyone was a slut, it was Arwen, not Legolas. **** Sauron burped rather loudly and nearly fell into the Cracks of Doom. Nearly. He cursed; the last time he had been this hung-over was in the Battle of the Last Alliance. That was how that damned Isildur had cut off his finger. Oh well, at least he knew how to get to the damned Heir of Isildur... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* A/N: Ok...here's more!!!! For those of you who were wondering, Janta is an original character in Ithildin's "Quest of the Opal Necklace" (currently under revision). He is a healer. Thanks to our tons of reviewers, and to PepperVL for betaing! Please review for more. 


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